Friday, September 25, 2009

Days of Awe

Hooray! Blogger likes me today. It let me in.

This month is just speeding past. Sunday night is the beginning of the 25+ hour fast of Yom Kippur. No food. No water. Walking to services (in non-leather shoes). An entire prayer book to read out loud in that length of time. Lots of standing. Lots of reflection. It's a very challenging day.

For some reason, all the spiritual stuff I'd been breezing along with for so long seemed to sputter and falter at some point a few months ago. I don't have any event to tie it to, nothing to point to, no place to lay blame (other than with myself).

I've done a fair bit of thinking intellectually in the recent past, figuring out what I should do, setting some smaller goals for myself, but nothing has really rekindled my passion. Even Rosh Hashana didn't do it.

Then, last night, I went to a talk for women. I received a new insight into certain things, nothing earthshattering, just novel. I haven't burst into flame, but I keep thinking about what I heard. I think that's a good starting point. We'll see how it goes.


Grace. said...

It really IS all about the emotional ups and downs, which are less tied to specific events than one might imagine. I wish I had more understanding of what does and does not depress me, and what does and does not motivate me. But I so often feel like both are moving targets.

Shevy said...

So, so true!